Firewalker (1986)


Everyone loves a good bad movie, but not every bad movie works as a late-night laugh-a-thon. As the crew of “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ explained in Wired‘s oral history of the show, they couldn’t just pick any old bad movie to riff. The films couldn’t be “boring and really, really talky,” and they had to be up to a certain visual and audio standard; after all, there’s no use trying to watch a bad movie if you can’t actually watch that bad movie. The same standards apply to those of us looking for just the right awful movie to watch for a fun night at home with friends and beer — or, for many of us, a fun night at home with Twitter and beer. Firewalker, a 1986 action-adventure flick that is astonishingly light on both action and adventure, seems like the perfect shlock to spend an evening with, but it just barely meets the minimum FDA guidelines for daily consumption of cheese. A knock-off of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Romancing the Stone, Firewalker is frequently cited as the primary reason its production company, the (in)famous Cannon Group, would declare bankruptcy just a few years later. However, Cannon’s best year was 1986 — not because of, but in spite of, Firewalker, which took in nearly $12 million at the box office over its first three weekends. Chuck Norris is Max Donigan, a character with so little personality that one feels it’s a waste of good font … Continue reading

That Guy Dick Miller (2015)

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That Guy Dick Miller ★★★★✫ Director: Elijah Drenner Indiecan Entertainment (Official Site) 91 Minutes Release Date: April 3, 2015 (limited) / Available on VOD and DVD May 19, 2015 – That Guy Dick Miller is an affectionate documentary that takes us through the life and career of, well, Dick Miller, the character actor who, for nearly six decades, has been playing the everyman everyone loves. His craggy face and fantastic voice are known to generations of filmgoers, even if many of the films he appeared in, especially early in his career, are so bad that, by all rights, no one should really remember them at all. But like so many other actors of the 1950s and 1960s, Miller managed to lend a realism, even occasionally a bit of gravitas, to roles that were less written than they were sketched on the backs of receipts. For that, Miller has earned himself a significant fandom, and rightly so. That Guy is very much a documentary by friends for friends, but fortunately, Dick Miller is the perfect subject for this kind of film. He’s got more than just memories to share: he’s got scripts, props, and friends and colleagues who are still talking to him even after a frenetic 13-day shoot in the middle of summer with nothing but three pages of dialogue and a monster made out of papier-mâché. He’s got the wardrobe, too; you’ll never see a movie where Harrison Ford digs into his bedroom closet and brings out the Indiana … Continue reading

We Live Again (1934)

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If early Hollywood films are any indication, a good 47% of women by volume found themselves abandoned, unmarried and pregnant at some point in their lives. They rarely suffered much by way of social ostracism — there was almost always a progressive aunt or someone willing to pass the child off as their own — and the years between birth and the child’s teens flew by at a curious speed. And by “flew by” I mean “were shrugged off with a title card announcing that the film has skipped 18 or so years because it’s easier that way.” We Live Again (1934), recently released on MOD DVD by Warner Archive, is one of the most dreary of these abandoned women plots. Based on Leo Tolstoy’s novel Resurrection, We Live Again concerns young Prince Dmitri Ivanovich Nekhlyudov (Fredric March) and his undying passion for farm girl Katusha (Anna Sten). Set at some vague point prior to the 1905 Revolution — one assumes roughly 1899, given the publication of Tolstoy’s novel — the 20-something Prince Dmitri is an idealist embracing anti-capitalist philosophy, though his family is irritated by him and Katusha is mostly uninterested. Well, the child-like Katasha is uninterested in politics, but very interested in him. After a few years in military service, where Dmitri indulges in gastronomic (and other) orgies like the good, capitalist member of nobility he is, he returns to the farm a changed man — the kind of man who seduces Katusha and leaves her an envelope … Continue reading

The Barber (2014)

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The Barber ★★★✫✫ Director: Basil Owies ARC Entertainment (Official Site) 95 Minutes Release Date: March 27, 2015 (limited) – It was almost twenty years ago when serial killer Francis Allen Visser, a middle-aged man with a penchant for burying his young, female victims alive, was released from prison, thanks to the many mistakes the cop who had doggedly pursued him made on the case. With his failure all over the network news and his obsession beyond his reach, the police officer kills himself, leaving a young son behind. Two decades later, 30-something John McCormack (Chris Coy) comes rolling into a small Northwestern town, looking for Visser. He stalks a kindly old barber named Eugene Van Wingerdt (Scott Glenn), sure that this is Visser with a new name and a new life, and shows the elderly man his own recent kill. “I’m your biggest fan,” John tells him, and demands Eugene teach him the finer points of murder. The Barber (2014) is a fresh-looking if somewhat typical thriller, with some fine acting from the well-chosen cast. But the film also features multiple missteps, such as plot holes and the curious way no one in this small town ever sees any of the suspicious behavior going on right out in public. Similarly, the timeline, which was so carefully cultivated early in the film, goes completely haywire during the run-up to the finale. After establishing past events as occurring in the 1990s, The Barber, like so many other films, retreats to the 1970s … Continue reading

A Wolf at the Door (2013)

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A Wolf at the Door ★★★★½ / ★★★★★ Director: Fernando Coimbra Outsider Pictures (Official Site) 100 Minutes Release Date March 27, 2015 (limited) – It’s a warm and sunny day in Rio de Janeiro when six-year-old Clara (Isabelle Ribas) goes missing from her school. Her panicked mother Sylvia (Fabiula Nascimento) reports it to the police. During questioning, the girl’s teacher explains that a family friend named Sheila came to get the girl, but Sylvia has no idea who this Sheila could be. Then the teacher drops a bombshell: the girl knew who the woman was, because she ran to her as soon as she saw her. When the girl’s father Bernardo (Milhem Cortaz) arrives at the station, he has a bombshell of his own: he knows a woman named Rosa (Leandra Leal) has taken Clara to get back at him in some way. Bernardo won’t readily admit to who Rosa is, but the detective (Juliano Cazarre) has already figured out that she’s his mistress. A Wolf at the Door (O Lobo atrás da Porta, 2013), writer-director Fernando Coimbra’s first feature-length film, is a taut, well-paced thriller that many critics have likened to Fatal Attraction (1987). With its slight police procedural feel, it’s also reminiscent of Kurosawa’s High and Low (1963), albeit with a non-linear timeline and never any serious talk about ransom for the little girl. And Wolf at the Door is no scorned woman flick for the paranoid males among us, anyway, but a harrowing look at the costs … Continue reading

Without a Clue (1988)

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Before they became the kind of actors one gets when one wants to add a little class to an otherwise iffy production, Ben Kingsley and Michael Caine headlined the Sherlock Holmes spoof Without a Clue (1988), a gentle period comedy that cheekily posits that the fictional Holmes both did and did not exist. Without a Clue places Holmes and Watson in a series of very silly situations, not quite what you’d call lowbrow, but far less sophisticated than one would expect the duo to encounter. But it was always a conceit of modern times to portray the detectives as particularly classy; our view of the turn of the 20th Century is a bit more stodgy than those who lived it, and Without a Clue is happy to remind us of that. After Holmes (Caine) and Dr. Watson (Kingsley) solve yet another case to much public acclaim, we learn that Holmes is no detective: he’s the gambling, womanizing, alcoholic actor Reginald Kincaid, hired by Watson years ago to portray Holmes. Whatever Holmes appears to be in print, Kincaid is essentially the opposite of it, with the exception of his wardrobe and a true fondness for making Inspector Lestrade (Jeffrey Jones) look ridiculous. For all of Kincaid-Holmes’ bravado, Watson is the genius sleuth of the duo and Holmes merely a character created to preserve Watson’s reputation as a solid, dependable doctor. After one too many slip-ups, Watson has had enough of Kincaid because he is, well, a gambler, a womanizer, and a … Continue reading

The Wrecking Crew (2015)

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The Wrecking Crew ★★★½ / ★★★★★ Director: Denny Tedesco Magnolia Pictures (Official Site) 101 Minutes Release Date March 13, 2015 (limited); DVD release June 15, 2015 – It was the 1960s and American pop music, long dominated by the so-called “Brill Building Sound,” had moved across the country. California was where it was at, and any musician who wanted to make it big needed to get themselves to Los Angeles. And get there they did, though many bands discovered something very strange: they wouldn’t be playing the instrumental tracks on their own albums. The fans never learned that they weren’t hearing their favorite hunky guitarist on the latest hit, but rather an unknown L.A. studio musician who belonged to an informal group known as The Wrecking Crew. Denny Tedesco’s documentary, in limited theatrical release after years of festival and press screenings, is filled with fantastic songs and photos and interviews from a host of musicians and stars. Crew follows the careers of several members of this group, primarily Denny’s father Tommy Tedesco, a fine and prolific guitarist you have heard even if you think you haven’t. He played on thousands of songs such as “Be My Baby” by the Ronettes and Sinatra’s “Strangers in the Night,” the themes to the “Batman” and “Bonanza” television shows, on the soundtracks to The French Connection, Enter the Dragon and Skidoo and, well, pretty much everything. The same could be said for nearly every member of the Crew. Bassist Carol Kaye and drummer Hal … Continue reading

VANish (2015)

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VANish ★★★★✫ Director: Bryan Bockbrader Dark Sky Films (Official Site) 79 Minutes Available February 24 on VOD, iTunes, DVD and Blu-ray – Bryan Bockbrader’s directorial debut VANish (2015) is a tight little action-horror film with plenty of twists, turns and splatter to entertain even the most jaded of indie movie fans. This ultra low-budget flick was shot in just 13 days and runs at a confident, snappy pace. Stalwart indie legends Tony Todd and Danny Trejo have small but pivotal roles, and they’re both terrific here, of course, because they’re Tony Todd and Danny Trejo. But make no mistake, VANish belongs to its four leads, especially Maiara Walsh, who puts in a fantastic turn as a strong and savvy hostage victim. Jack (Austin Abke) and Max (Bryan Bockbrader) have a solid plan: to kidnap Emma (Walsh) and hold her hostage until her father coughs up $5 million. But the plan goes south almost immediately as the unhinged Max starts shooting at the first sign of trouble, and the addition of Jack’s old Army buddy Shane (Adam Guthrie), a man sporting a nasty case of PTSD, doesn’t help. Jack finds himself in the thankless role of the smartest guy in a room full of dimwits who have no idea how to handle their captive. A surprise visit from some goons in ski masks and a series of startling revelations turn what at first seemed like a typical (albeit ill-advised) kidnapping into a very dangerous situation. Filmed entirely from inside the van … Continue reading

The Spiderpool

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The history of the Spiderpool is the quintessential Hollywood story, a particularly American brand of fairy tale that begins with excess and eccentricity, wild parties and beautiful women. Like so many American dreams, it was over almost as soon as it began, and what was once celebrated became nothing more than crumbling remnants of exploitation, disappointment and lost dreams. Continue reading

The Wild Affair (1963)

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The Wild Affair (1963) is a charming, light and sophisticated British sex comedy, sadly forgotten despite being incredibly influential in its day. A vehicle for early-60s cinematic It Girl Nancy Kwan, The Wild Affair concerns a young working girl, her hapless fiance, assorted colleagues and the ever-present worry that one has not lived enough before jumping into that metaphorical death known as marriage. Though a rather calm and collected film once it gets going, The Wild Affair opens with some truly bonkers credits that feature a series of still photos of Kwan, staid and serene on one side of the frame, adorable and spirited on the other. “Spirited” in this case means the stills of Kwan’s head vibrate and hop around like they were cut out and glued onto a popsicle stick, and then filmed as a little kid played puppets with them. And then come the legs: I have absolutely no idea what this is implying.   The Wild Affair is based on the William Sansom novel The Last Hours of Sandra Lee, a title that evokes a sinister end, undoubtedly the author’s intent, but certainly not the film’s. Sansom, now mostly unknown, was once called “London’s closest equivalent to Franz Kafka,” and was known for writing characters made to “face inscrutable futures with patience and resignation, knowing that they can do little to influence the outcome of their lives.” In his novel, Sandra Lee has to deal with some very harsh truths and a future that’s difficult to … Continue reading